The worst Metro from every year
January 9, 2025
We really enjoyed figuring out the best Metro from every year, so let's flip it on its head and choose the worst Metro from every year. Prepare for horror!
1961
Yes, despite the presence of Thomas Dooley, Lothar Matthaus is both the best and worst player of 1961. Best, because he played better on the field. Worst, because his off-the-field shenanigans will forever stay in Metro lore.
1962
Sorry, Antony de Avila, but you are the only one here... and we highly doubt someone from 1962 will ever play for Metro again.
1963
Two players, the only two Italians in Metro history: Nicola Caricola and Roberto Donadoni. This one is obvious. (This is exactly what we wrote in the previous article.)
1964
Just like with Matthaus, Branco is simultaneously best and worst. Sorry, but we make up the rules, and Mickey Kydes and Carlos Ledesma are just too irrelevant! Best, because of Branco's two goals. Worst, because of his three red cards, including one for spitting, in just 13 games!
1965
Ruben Dario Hernandez was the first Metro bust, and we don't mean a part of human anatomy.
1966
Sorry, Paul Dougherty, but the other two here and Tab Ramos and Peter Vermes. Not really fair for the lively spark plug that Dougherty was, but what can you do.
1967
Marcelo Balboa is one of the best players in US soccer history. After being injured the entirety of 2002, he played the last five minutes of the season, when Metro was already down 3:0.
1968
Marco Rizi was a career indoor player who played 33 minutes for Metro in 1997, in a game they lost 3:0. Oh, but he was capped 10 times for Canada!
1969
Stan Lembryk has the since-tied but unbreakable record of playing only one minute for Metro. Louis Ken-Kwofie (RIP) played 90, in the 1996 finale. Apparently, he used to take part in Metro front office games and the real team needed a body for a game that had no impact in the standings. Such was the inaugural year of MLS.
1970
We can't choose one, and you will immediately understand why. Edmundo Rodriguez, or "Edsucko", is forever considered the worst player in team history. The clown Alexi Lalas is forever considered the worst human in team history.
1971
There is a short list of players who played in the World Cup while playing for Metro, and somehow, Marcelo Vega is on it. Overweight and slow as molasses, he helped sink the 1998 season. But despite his 11 goals, we must go with Mamadou Diallo, who should have never been a Metro in the first place. What idiocy it was, Nick Sakiewicz, to trade for the biggest villain ever!
1972
There is a lot of irrelevance here: Nidal Baba, Ken Hesse, Brent Longenecker, Cordt Weinstein... But for this list, we go with incompetence over irrelevance, so the choice is Ezra Hendrickson, who had something like four hand balls (we lost count) in eight games. Of course, Ezra became an excellent right back and an MLS Cup winner at multiple stops... and Carlos Alberto Parreira played him at center back here. So who was really incompetent?
1973
Your second season here absolves you, Sergio Galvan Rey! But Diego Serna, who scored at will at Miami (the original Miami, new MLS fans), scored just one goal in eight games here before being sent to New England for Diallo, barf.
1974
Markus Schopp, the first example of Red Bull synergy, was absolute trash. But how can we choose anyone but Jaime Moreno, who begged his way out of DC, played 12 games here, got injured, then begged his way back to DC when they had a coaching change? At least he scored two goals... one of them against DC.
1975
It's a mystery, which perhaps only then-coach Octavio Zambrano can answer: How did Julian Gomez, who was playing in fourth-division PDL, make his way on the roster of Metro's excellent 2000 team? Especially considering that after being cut, he couldn't hack at any other level. He was so bad that we are choosing him over goalkeeper Russell Payne, who allowed two goals in eight minutes in his only action, for that same 2000 team.
1976
Barry Swift was one of the best high school players in New York City history... that's because he was 20 years old (give or take), playing against children. He played 30 meaningless minutes for Metro, was cut, then tried to show up for practice anyway.
1977
Alexi Lalas on Ryan Suarez: "Love him or hate him, he's a personality that can't be ignored. As far as I'm concerned, we just stole the best part of Chivas USA." He was absolutely awful for Metro, including being burned in central defense by that historically-awful Chivas USA team. But the choice here is Oscar Echeverry, a forward who scored exactly zero goals in nine games in 2008, seven starts. Zero assists as well, for good measure.
1978
Byron Alvarez was a good minor league player who was absolutely out of his depth in MLS. But there can only be one choice here, and it's Steve Shak, the #1 overall pick of the 2000 SuperDraft. Here are the names who went after him: Nick Garcia, Carlos Bocanegra, Danny Califf, Sasha Victorine, Bobby Convey... Shak was rated as a third-rounder, but Zambrano knew him from youth soccer. Just a ghastly pick... and a ghastly player.
1979
Leo Krupnik was a Metro three times: he was drafted in the 6th round in 2002, cut, played in the minor leagues, signed in mid-season, didn't play a minute, cut, went to Israel, where he made his name, came back in 2009, finally played, starting in central defense in a 4:0 loss, played two more games, and, yeah, cut. But! But, but, but! Rafael Marquez was also born in 1979. You're absolved, Leo.
1980
Alexi Lalas on Taylor Graham: "Taylor is a smart player and a smart man, and we're looking for men with both brains and brawn." We cannot gauge Graham's intelligence, but he was absolutely putrid on the field. In one game, Metro was in control, subbed Graham in late, and he was beaten like a rented mule twice, turning a 1:0 late lead into a 2:1 defeat. But few can match the incompetence of Martin Klinger, another one of Zambrabo's projects. Drafted out of high school, he must have weighed 110 pounds (he was listed at 140, but please) and did not belong on an MLS field even back in 2001.
1981
Kenny Arena was trash, but scored a goal with his butt. "Hard Man" Juan Pietravallo was trash, but had one good game against DC. There was nothing redeemable about Khano Smith. If you are cut from one of the worst teams in league history, what more needs to be said? Other than his acquisition was doomed from the start. Thanks, Juan Carlos Osorio!
1982
Alfredo Pacheco (RIP) was banned from soccer for match fixing. Perhaps that can explain his pitiful performance in 2009? Thanks for another great signing, Osorio...
1983
Bobby Convey had a very good career, but by the time Metro acquired him in 2014, he was clearly past it. The rest of the 1983 pickings are rather competent, unless we sink to the obscurity of Blake Camp or Gordon Kljestan, brother of Sacha? He played 45 minutes in an Open Cup loss to a team called Crystal Palace Baltimore. Thanks, Osorio...
1984
Now here we can have a field day with awfulness. Gabriel Cichero, another terrible Osorio acquisition who did not want to be here? Carlos Johnson, another terrible Osorio acquisition who got three red cards in 13 games, including one two minutes into a match that Metro lost 1:0 on the ensuing penalty kick? Sebastien Le Toux, another one who should have never been a Metro in the first place? All absolved due to the presence of Santino Quaranta, who used his time with Metro to go down I-95 to buy crack in Baltimore. We're not making this up.
1985
In one of the worst trades in Metro history, Dave van den Bergh was sent to Dallas for Dominic Oduro. Amazingly, Oduro was pretty good in many other stops in MLS; he was trash with Metro, shipped out after five games. Yet another one of Osorio's gems...
1986
Elie Ikangu was an absolute head-scratcher of a signing, especially after Mo Johnston compared the French defensive midfielder to Claude Makelele. There is no record of him playing anywhere after Metro cut him at the age of 21. But the choice here is Johnny Arteaga, a putrid forward that played little, but was an absolute disaster when Metro ended its 2012 Open Cup run with a loss to minor-league Harrisburg.
1987
Synergy! Brian Nielsen! Synergy! Metro signed the promising Dane on a backroom deal with Salzburg. He started a couple of days after arriving -- and never in league again. Not happy to be in the US, other than to party, perpetually injured in his second season when he played in just four minutes... but he did inspire his own game on this website!
1988
Mike Jones was signed mid-2011 as a backup left back and played one minute in the league and 180 minutes in the Open Cup. The last 90 of those in a 4:0 loss to Chicago for which "Clever" Hans Backe decided not to show up.
1989
You want more synergy? You get Omer Damari, the first player ever to play for Red Bull Salzburg, Leipzig, and New York! He did score a goal in Champions League play... but couldn't even start a single match in any competition. A red card in seven playoff minutes ended his Metro career.
1990
Sadly, Le Toux could not make this list (see 1984), but the man he was traded for, Josue Martinez, was a colossal disappointment. He played just 11 minutes, then was cut six days after.
1991
No, not Cory Burke! The Urinator, Victor Palsson, once banned from Edinburgh's bars for public urination, was out of his depth with his fruitless flying tackles. He was swiftly dispatched in midseason, then came back to MLS a decade later, when he was still pretty bad, but this time for the Scum in DC.
1992
More synergy? Oh, you asked for it! It's possible, quite possible that Fredrik Gulbrandsen could have succeeded here, but the circumstances were not in his favor. Metro played with one striker, and that striker was Bradley Wright-Phillips. Sending Gulbrandsen to the wing or trying to pair him with BWP simply did not work. His loan was cut short after no goals in 12 games.
1993
Brandon Allen: 2016 USL Cup Champion, seven minutes with the first team. Stefano Bonomo: 2016 USL Cup Champion, one minute with the first team. Dan Metzger: 2016 USL Cup Champion, one minute with the first team. Yes, not exactly fair here.
1994
We named Carlos Rivas the best of 1994 for his two goals (the other options were Justin Bilyeu and Marius Obekop). We name him the worst for his complete incompetence otherwise. He was supposed to be the centerpiece of the Sacha Kljestan trade; instead, he was gone by midseason. But Metro did pretty well in 2018 without him!
1995
Andreas Ivan might be one of the worst players in recent history... but he did manage to score two goals, which is two more than Ashley Fletcher. Here we remind you that Fletcher was signed on loan from Watford, the same season that Columbus signed Cucho Hernandez... from Watford. Then Kevin Thelwell era in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen!
1996
Rece Buckmaster, who Chris Armas called a "lockdown defender", then cut him, is absolved by... synergy! Samuel Tetteh, a striker who couldn't strike the ball, somehow played in 10 games and might just be the worst synergetic example ever.
1997
Speaking of the Kljestan trade, the other player Metro received from Orlando was central defender Tommy Redding, a promising youth international who ended up playing just 90 minutes for Metro... in a loss to Orlando where they allowed four goals. That was the last time Redding played a first team match, at the age of 21. He seemed more interested in video games.
1998
We will pass on another horrible synergy, Youba Diarra, and absolve Patryk Klimala to land on Patrick Seagrist. Dennis Hamlett famously traded 100K for the 10th pick of the 2020 SuperDraft (#9 and #11 both went for 75K) to take the left back, who many touted to be the steal of the draft. He was hopelessly out of his depth in MLS, starting the first two, pre-COVID games, then appearing just once afterwards. Another 1998-er, Jason Pendant, who replaced him, was bad, but better than Seagrist!
1999
Zach Ryan did score a goal in the Open Cup, but looked lost on the field otherwise. The other options were all pretty competent here.
2000
Is Mathias Jorgensen the worst signing in Metro history? Considering they spent over two million on him and that he could not come even close to scoring a goal -- for a supposed target striker! -- the answer just might be yes.
2001
The numbers are dwindling here, so we are choosing Lucas Monzon, a Uruguayan youth international who could barely get on the field, over Aidan O'Connor and Jayden Reid.
2002
As we said in the other article, there are four players here, and three of them just started in MLS Cup. The fourth is Steven Sserwadda.
2003
Remember Jorge Cabezas, also known as Jorge Hurtado? He played for Metro just a year ago! Yes, really!
2004
Metro has had good luck with young Venezuelans: Cristian Casseres and Wiki Carmona. Not so much with Jesus Castellano.
2005
Curtis Ofori hasn't played yet, so Serge Ngoma by default. Sorry!
2006
No one!
2007
Davi Alexandre hasn't played yet.
2008
Tanner Rosborough and Aidan Stokes haven't played yet, so Julian Hall. Sorry!
2009
Adri Mehmeti is just 15. We are still old.
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