Misfiring Metro manhandled by Miami, 2:1
October 7, 2020

New York Miami
Fernandez Pellegrini
10.07.20 · League

Dear Gerhard Struber,

Did you watch this? Let us summarize for you.

You're new to MLS, of course. Miami? They are not good. Not only are they not good, they were missing multiple starters and had a patchwork defense. But you know what Miami does have? A game-changing attacker. Your team? Ha!

(Well, your team did have a game-changing striker for a long time, but Denis Hamlett (he is the guy who brings Kevin Thelwell his drinks) decided to let him go for free, and that game-changing striker is now scoring at will at LAFC. But we digress. No, we don't digress! You would think that Hamlett would bring in another striker to replace the departed one! Ha!)

Now, if you watched the first half of the game, you saw your team pretty much dominate. Miami could do nothing! One thing was missing, however. Your team just can't finish! Time and time again it got into in attacking positions, and time and time again that was wasted.

Let's take a look at two plays. Twice Jared Stroud (who was once a lowly draft pick and a minor league player but is now thrust into a starting role; don't get us wrong, he is not terrible, but please read along) stole the ball from a defender and took it into the box. The first time, he took one extra step, and the chance got muffed. The second time? Exactly the same thing! Extra step, muffed chance. (Again, nothing against Stroud. He is a useful player in MLS, just limited.)

Your team did score in the 53rd minute, when Sean Nealis (another lowly draft pick) and Stroud (see, Stroud!) did well to keep a corner kick from being cleared, and Omir Fernandez got on the end of a goalmouth cross. But just two minutes later, a Miami cross bounced in the box, Mandela Egbo was late, and the game was tied.

And then, in the 81st, a completely needless foul by Jason Pendant led to a free kick just outside the box. Now, go back to that "game-changing attacker" mantra we've been chanting. Miami's is obviously Gonzalo Higuain, who was OWNED by Aaron Long tonight. O, W, N, E, D, owned! He could do nothing from the run of play. Unfortunately, the previous sentence ended with "from the run of play", so he bent a free kick over the wall, past the helpless David Jensen, and that was that. Ha!

This team, Mr. Struber, is not good. It lost at home to DC (DC sucks). It lost at home to Cincinnati (Cincinnati sucks). It lost at home to Miami (Miami sucks!). And nothing will change until it gets a real, GAME-CHANGING striker.

(Come to think of it, wasn't that your complaint at your last stop at Barnsley? That the club wouldn't sign quality attacking players? Well, we're sure that the Red Bull brass will do you one better!)


Lineup: Jensen, Duncan, Long, Nealis, Egbo, Yearwood, Valot, Stroud, Fernandez, Tetteh, Barlow. Subs: White, Jorgensen, Pendant, Royer, Rzatkowski.

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