Metro rides into DC, wipes floor with Scum, 2:0
May 1, 2010

DC United New York

05.01.10 · League

Four years, six months, and 23 days ago, Red Bull was just an overpriced energy drink, Amado Guevara and Youri Djorkaeff were the engine that drove the team, Alexi Lalas was spewing lies on the MetroStars dime, and Metro was one week away from an epic playoff clinch... and three weeks away for an epic playoff fail. October 8, 2005 might not seem like a long time ago... but it feels like an eternity.

For October 8, 2005 was the last time Metro won a match in DC. Until today, that is, when they trashed the Scum 2:0 behind goals by Salou Ibrahim and Juan Pablo Angel. Many things have changed since then, but one man bridges the gap between Metro of then and now.

That man is Seth Stammler. Back in 2005, his cross led to Djorkaeff's gamewinner. Today, he was the only new Metro in the starting lineup (from the league game, obviously not the Open Cup match), starting on the left wing of all places, somewhere we haven't seen him (or so it seems) since Mo Johnston plopped Stammler there in the playoff match two weeks after that DC victory.

The more things change...

The more they seem to stay the same, as the desperate Scum turned the first half into an avalanche on the Metro net. An amazing save by Bouna Coundoul off a close-range unmarked header by Clyde Simms kept the game scoreless. Metro's best chance came when Stammler unexpectedly broke through on goal, but he was thwarted by the merging Scum defense.

In the second half, Metro settled down. And six minutes in, they got the lead. Angel got the ball to Richards on the flank, who sent in a perfectly-placed ground ball into Ibrahim, who was waiting inside the penalty area. The Ghanaian-Belgian hit it off the right post and into the net.

The shocked Scum could not believe it. The jubilant Metro was not done. In the 60th minute, Richards was fouled, and Joel Lindpere sent a long free kick into the box. There, it was met by Angel's head, and the Cherubic Assassin floated it over the Scum keeper and under the crossbar.

And that was all she wrote. The Scum attack, led by "reformed" cokehead Santino Quaranta (whose first half yellow for diving didn't stop him from falling on the ground once again), old fat bastard Jaime Moreno, and we-have-no-answers-so-we-re-signed-this-bum Luciano Emilio, could not generate one serious chance the rest of the way. DC falls to 0-5, and Metro... oh, Metro is 5-1 after this terrific victory, matching last year's win total after just six games.

The last time Metro won in DC by a shutout? Would you believe... never?

Prior to today, that is.

Lineup: Coundoul, Miller, Ream, Petke, Hall, Stammler, Robinson, Lindpere, Richards, Ibrahim, Angel. Subs: Tchani, Borman, Chinn.

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