Shame.
The lowest point in team history
August 7, 2009

No wins in three months. Losing to a semi-pro team from Trinidad and Tobago. Incompetent coach and management. A fan base that diminishes by the minute. A clueless owner who turned the club into a walking billboard. Apathy.

There have been some bad times in Metro history, on the field and off it. We never thought 1999 could have been topped... but now it has. Welcome to Metro Hell, brought to you by Red Bull.

Two wins, 15 losses, and four ties. Think about it. Horrible. Epically horrible. On pace for the worst season in league history.

But no, we have the Champions League, said Jeff Agoos! The Champions League! How about losing to a mid-table side from Trinidad, crashing out in the most disgusting of fashions... Champions League! Some champions we are!

But oh yes, we are champions. Western Conference Champions, that is. And Juan Carlos Osorio will never let you forget that. It was his tactical genius that led the team to never-before-achieved glory: winning two playoff games and LOSING in MLS Cup. A round of applause for Mr. Osorio. You truly are a king among men.

So yes, you might spew idiocy every time you open your mouth, and you might throw your players under the bus game after game, and you might come up with some idiotic tactics that are somehow justified in your brilliant head, and you might take copious notes that make you seem smarter than you really are, but you'll always have that Western Conference Championship. No one will ever take that away.

And then there's Agoos. Oh, how can we forget Agoos, when his one accomplishment in running Metro is NOT getting himself fired! Oh, he's gotten so good at that that everything else pales by comparison: the horrible players he's helped Osorio acquire, the wasted allocations and draft picks... But that's all right. He is learning on the job. He said so himself.

The fan base? What's left of the fan base? Inflated four-digit attendances only starting telling the full story: the once-great New York soccer market has been turning its back on Metro for 14 years, and now the team is drawing less and less fans by the year. It's a slide that will never stop...

But oh, it will, because Red Bull Arena will open next year! Red Bull Arena, the panacea to all that ails Metro! Red Bull Arena, already called the best stadium in the US before it even opened! Red Bull Arena, Red Bull's gift to Metro Red Bulls fans!

Thank you, Red Bull, for Red Bull Arena. We're sure it's going to be great. But if you think this new stadium will cure all, you're grossly mistaken. A shiny new box might get filled in its inaugural year, but you need more than that to make this team a viable player in the New York market. And we can start listing the problems that the ownership of Red Bull has created, but we don't have all day. Let's just summarize. "The company" has been an absentee owner with little regard for its fan base, and whose first priority is the sale of their product.

Prove us wrong, Red Bull. Show us you care. Fire the two incompetent fools, Agoos and Osorio. Fire them now. Do you not understand that having them in charge hurts the supposedly-beloved image of your glorious energy drink?

But they won't get fired. Because you don't care. And soon, we won't care. It's the lowest point in team history. But sadly, it can get lower.

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